Ahh, the '80s. Some of us are finally reaching that age we can wax nostalgic over that decade as our heyday, a fusion of optimism, drinking, and partying. And now, well, not as much. However, sometimes hearing a certain song mixed with a nostalgic mood can really get the creative juices flowing
Call it divine intervention or a quirky twist of fate, but in my nightly grab for some different CDs from our collection to take to work (I know, I could just listen to my cubicle neighbor on the phone most of the day, in her own family edition of "The Young and the Worthless", but I have a
limited capacity for voyeurism) I pulled two that were especially 80's-tastic: The Best of Thompson Twins and The Wedding Singer (ok, I have Wedding Singer Volumes I and II.)
Those 80's songs had some great videos. One of my youthful, want-to-be-famous fantasies was to be in those videos way back when. Now, of course, I am slightly older, hopefully wiser, certainly more attuned to irony, but nonetheless still I am still prone to some creative fantasies..involving entertainment. I paused because I thought I may have lost one or two of you after the repeated use of the word "fantasies"...anyway, I popped in T-Twins so as to avoid Chapter 4 of "My Daughter is an Ungrateful &$^%*@", and started grooving.
"In the Name of Love" is track one...nice back beat (this CD features remixes, which I know annoy a lot of purists, but I don't mind them)...Okay..gonna be a good day. Track two begins...."Lies Lies Lies". One minute I am working on the computer, adjusting column A and tweaking column B, the next minute, in my mind, I am recasting, reshooting, and directing a remake of the video for "Lies Lies Lies".
Only this time, it's a LITTLE different.
As we all are painfully aware, the so-called SOTU assaulted our airwaves Wednesday night. I muted Bush, in an effort to keep my blood pressure down. I had heard and read a lot of the "pre-show teasers" and I knew I would see post-analysis ad nauseum and that's bad enough. But, even with the sound muted, I could tell he was lying. The smirks...the eyes....they add up to "Oh man, they are eating this up! They LOVE me". I found myself imitating the voice on Al Franken's AAR show that says "You sir, are a Lie..Lie..Lie..LIAR!!!!"
You see where this is going.
"They're gonna get you.....They won't forget you...They're gonna get you....They won't forget you.....", then the unmistakable intro music. Suddenly the smoke clears and there are the Thompson Twins...who,incredibly, have not aged a day.
As the song progresses, we are treated to a variety of the infamous Bush Inc Crime Syndicate, plus some other colorful characters. Monica Lewinsky,looking full bodied and lascivious, and wearing just a little too much make up even for evening wear, prances across the screen and then UP CLOSE! Shelooks at you suggestively, her head bows forward, and then....she rises up,and it's Condoleeza Rice!!! Wearing the same costume! Holy metaphor Batman! She prances off carrying a lipstick smudged 8x10 of Dubya.
Lies Lies Lies yeah.....The Thompson Twins are dancing, dressed in combat fatigues....
Madonna, intrigued by my project, as I knew she would be, reprises her leather bustierre and chair routine from the Blond Ambition tour. Man, she can still move, can't she! She smiles suggestively, and with one finger beckons you behind a curtain, and when the camera follows, and Madonna turns around, OMIGOD!!! It's John Ashcroft!!! And in a matching blond ponytail wig, he actually makes the bustierre work! He finishes it off with a snap of a bullwhip, and you realize he is leading Alberto Gonzales by a dog collar.
Lies Lies Lies yeah.....The Thomspon Twins are dressed as Supreme Court Judges!
A livingroom where a Heather O'Rourke look a like (in my fantasy, she is not dead, but held out for too much money) sits before a TV flickering in a dark room (Spielberg has signed off on my using this scene...what a great guy)...Suddenly Kane appears on the screen! Oh RUN, little Heather Look-a-like...Bad man...EEEEKKKK!! But she's entranced! She inches closer, closer....and then, even more horrifying....it's Michael Chertoff!!! And if possible, he's even MORE emaciated....AAAAAAHHHHHH!
Lies Lies Lies yeah.....The Thompson twins are dressed as Saudi Royals!
A dark alley, where Maureen Dowd, in trenchcoat and press-hat, is looking nervously back and forth. She looks really good in a trenchcoat, we notice. Suddenly, she comes face to face with Jason!!! He approaches menacingly, grabs Maureen who knees him in the nether regions! OUCH! As he doubles over, his hockey mask drops to the ground, revealing.. GASP! Dick Cheney!!! Suddenly, Lynne Cheney leaps from behind a garbage dumpster, shakes a finger at Maureen and a bubble pops up by Lynne's head reading "You're a very bad woman!" Maureen whips out her copy of "Sisters" and bops Lynne in the head.
Lies Lies Lies yeah...The Thompsons are in a pie eating contest!!! Apple filling is flying every which way!!! Suddenly, as they are all about to begin a new round of pies, Chef Emil appears, yelling BAM!!! and cuts their pies in half! (Another metaphor in the same video? You bet!!!) This really pisses off Girl Thompson. She reaches out to claw at him, and ends up ripping off his mask to reveal....wait for it....wait for it.....GEORGE BUSH! And his twisted chimpy lips show he is not pleased! Laura comes out waving her arms frantically, for no other reason than the Xanax have worn off, and the whole thing becomes a big pie fight between the Villian Liars and the Good Guys led by the Thompson Twins.
By the end of my fantasy video The Good Guys have surrounded the villains, and just when you think the villains will try to bum rush their way out, a giant portrait of Bill Clinton falls and traps them all in its matting. The Villains are rounded up, stuffed into a rocket, and launched toward Mars! HOORAY! The mirror ball descends and a real party begins! Harry Reid and Howard Dean, baseball caps on backwards, spin the records!
I love a happy fantasy ending--how about you? Have some fun, think up a plot line, and vote for the song below you think would make a great
fantasy video!